Notebook: The corona saga

     The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming. For one who have not watched the film, this quote is from The Dark Knight. It is narrated in the film as a ray of hope where all routes surrender in front of life’s helplessness.

      Hope is irreplaceable. It furnishes new energy and works as a catalyst for decoupage.

      An epidemic outbreak of COVID-19 is the witness of degrading moral values except some strong examples of civic caring to others. In a recent report published on BBC HINDI about a man who is lying on the roadside and pleading for help but time taking process of attending Ambulance and other state machinery cause the death of that man.

     

       The man was voicing in sorrow: Please help me. Admit me to the hospital. I can’t breathe. Someone tries to help, but no one cared sincerely due to the fear of the virus. On death, man’s son said: After watching the video, whom should I have blamed? It seemed that no moral value left in anyone. During the epidemic, an ambulance called, and it did not have PPE. Was that a Joke? Where did all the preparedness go?

       The incident is only one of the dark shades of morality. Remembering another episode, when the first lockdown was running, I went to a medical store to purchase a face mask.

      “How much cost of surgical face mask is?” I asked.

      “15 rupees” He replied.

      “Give me two pieces of these.” I said, but as per the government guidelines, the price has reduced to the previous rate.”

       After my words, he denied instantly and said, “I did not have any mask.” I asked again and again, but I could not change his mood. That day many medical stores had closed therefore I requested again, he rejected my request and reacted arrogantly: Go and Purchase from Modi.

     I lost my consciousness on his mischief character. I shouted that how Badtameez(Monkey business) you are? Then he played an old age card: you could not say these words to a 60-year-old man. You know I am saying because you are obliging me. Everyone is afraid of Covid and panic of it. People are dying, and you are thinking only to gain 10-15 rupees margin on the price of 5 rupees.

     Even in the beginning, the silver lining of almost all medical professionals had doomed. That medical store was one of them. If he sold masks on only 5 rupees margin, it was sure he could earn a reputable profit. 

    

     Continuous lockdown wreaked havoc mostly for the lower sections of society. Labourers, informal employees, and people without social security felt more pain comparatively and came to the road. Almost all India was at the bus stand, on highways, and railway tracks.

      Panics had got their culmination. Factories were not in operation. Manufacturing and other infrastructure activities had become dormant. Mostly workers were bonded work-men. They spent all their savings even in the early day and started struggling for every basic need.

      Governments taken steps provided them nothing for survival in neighbouring states, so they had only one way to march toward their homes. 

      

      At this time, where was the labour minister, no one knows even today. Where was the fault? Analysts will find, and some will be fond of the Government actions, and some will not. These will have been in progress, but no one cares about the death of these workers, shabby health care, immorality of individuals, and a proper crisis management implementation.

      How can any Government be so careless? I never imagined that the Delhi Government could reserve hospitals only for the residents of Delhi. CM Kejriwal’s initial Politics was unique where there was no left, no right, no religion, no caste, no class but was only humans. He sang a song of Mahatma Gandhi during India against corruption movement, and today he and his party workers showing play cards of Delhites. The order passed for this purpose has scrapped by the Lieutenant Governor otherwise Delhi would be the worst place for the students and the non-Delhites. Thanks to the central government that cares about the need of all.

      The year 2020 will have been a witness of revolutionizing everything for decades. It changed behavioural habits, modified disciplines in the queue, matured the guys under 30, transformed the style of marriages, amended the relationship, and established the importance of money. I experienced many of them mentioned above.

     This year also claimed the life of veterans, actors, performers, historians, academicians, politicians, and war hero who bid farewell to the world. The most recent death of Sushant Singh Rajput in the corona age triggered the recognition of mental health. 

      Loneliness is fearful. Many experience it. I also felt it not only in this lockdown but also on multiple occasions. One who survives, I assure, the loneliness leads to the solitude.

      We all are snooping uninteresting news of increasing corona cases, the worst condition of lower people, increasing death, the trouble of the health system, and the failure of governments. But, we should not be cheerless because we all are growing-up.

      I am sure that the dawn will overlap the darkest night. The government actions and the people spirit will flourish the colours of joy.               

The group that taught me heavily

Disclaimer: All the characters and events depicted are fictitious.

    JMP was a group that existed when I came to Delhi from Patna. It influenced me positively and negatively. Similar to the previous group, it also got its bad destiny. Like always, grouping started with taking cups of tea and ended in an abusive manner. Layering in the group began with J, then M, and finally P but all are now on his track and they assume that every one of this group pulled legs of each other. 

    Is it possible? What do you say to such guys who mock, criticize, and insult after breaking up of relationship?

    It is not a full-fledged story of the group, but it is only a narration that I felt. 

The curious case of J.

    J, whom I met first time in the library. He sat left side of my seat regularly. He was so silent that he could not disturb others. In a short while, he started talking with me, and we both asked each other to take a cup of tea in the morning. This act took place as a habit. 

    After a while, he introduced me to Mr M and applauded his advantages as everyone does. I had no sense of man’s disadvantages like anger, fabricated pride, selfishness, practicability, and different negative shades of emotion.

    I treated everyone whom I talked would be good. It was my phase of transition that was still to cover up. I was fighting against the inbuilt idealism and a little amount had turned away, but not completely.

    A group of four had created and included some grey and dark elements of friendships. We were friends or not, on my side, skepticism got top preference.

    Everything was good about J’s character except some fabricated confidence. In the beginning, he behaved maturely but over the time his real colour began flourishing. On every alternate day, he got angry and threatened to beat, harassed aggressively. We all ignored these acts. These were extremely bad manners but one thing I will never forget about him that he respected by his heart and invited all of us at the weekend for dinner. 

     I have no hesitation to say that he belonged to an economically backward class and his brother was not under family discipline. He had lost his father at an early age. It was a big shock for me too when I listened to.

    The only source of his income was his mother’s private job in Bihar. He was struggling in Delhi for everything but was confident to get a job and hopeful for good.

    Days were rolling well and suddenly we got the news of his mother’s accident. She went into a coma. Thousands of Rupees expensed on her treatment but there was no improvement. 

   He along with his mother moved to Delhi for better treatment. Bundle of Rupee was being again soaked by the hospital but still no change in her deep unconsciousness. The doctor in Delhi discharged her, said to believe in God, and go home for natural improvement. 

   After a couple of months, hope and devotion in nature brought happiness. His mother’s recovery progressed; legs and hands began moving; in a while, sounds started coming out and both he and his mother got engaged after a long period.

    It was the moment of a tryst with destiny. He again came on track with great hope, but in a short time, another unexpected incident happened and his mother’s leg got fractured. Again one-fourth million Rupees were exhausted on treatment without any source of income. 

    It was one of the biggest socking moments again in his life. Tragedy over tragedy was being grown up but he was still in confidence. Many people could be collapsed but he successfully arranged his mother's treatment and set an example for motivation.

    People mocked him for his personal life, living standard, language skills, and his wrongdoing but I think it should have not been done by them because these were the external parts of life and these would be changed. People should have thought about his calibre that how a 24-year-old lower-middle-class boy who triumphally took care of his mother and sustained in society and also carried on his track without any source of income, family background, and any support by friends.

    After all, no one knows what God wants? Legend says that tragedy, failure, and adversity makes man mature and provides a different way to propagate life but how much amount of these misfortunes should be? 

    Can above heartbreaks be justified for J? You can judge but the one who could fight is the only one warrior.   

How much ₹20 does matter?

    Can a little money imbalance humans’ precious emotional, psychological, social, and heart-bound relationships? Yes, for some, and no, for others. 

    But, it matters more if you know a person for months, spending time regularly, taking 2-3 cups of tea in a day together, eating at one place in the weekend, reading daily in the same library and you act immaturely for a little amount of money, then the act will be unethical.

    Knowing to everyone, human nature instructs man to act, and it also justifies how ethical human action is? As per the scholars, human nature is unpredictable. Different men can behave differently in a situation like Mr M behaved for ₹20. 

    Mr M was a good guy. He was not associated with any mischief. He was from different background so I was never interested to talk to him. Unwillingly I talked on the saying of J, and due to my weakness of emotionality, I got engaged and fell in the illusion of friendship.

    On the republic day, we all, a group of four, were going to a temple. We were happy, smiling, humouring, and enjoying the moment. But, on the way, with an act of Mr M, the enjoyment and the pleasure had fragmented by the hammer of less worth ₹20. This ₹20 broke my trust and the illusion of friendship.

     
    Mr M had acted frustratedly, aguishly, and heartlessly on paying only ₹20 more to auto-rickshaw. I do not know even today why he did so.

   I had lots of respect for him. I called him with Ji, preferred his arguments, and saw him as a reputed person, but on that day, I experienced a different personality on his face that had been veiling by him, after that, our communication had derailed. 

   One day, after 8 months of the incident, I was summing up my life events and apprehended that when I stopped talking, why I should not initiate to bridge the gap? I felt that it was a pang of moral guilt. So I made a call to him, but he even did not respond. I got neglected, but I was happy because a person of such principles was out of my niche, and the burden of the guilt had doomed.

Why I did not react against P?

   P is the final character of this group. When I remind his mischief, I think, I should have punched on his face but I did not so.

   I had broken communication with each-other after the incidence of ₹20. In a long while, almost 10 months later, I made a call to him on the suggestion of a friend because I knew to date that he was a good and genius guy. He responded in a good manner but in a little while, he started mocking me that I…I... made a call to him. I ignored it because it had no worth for me and I took it humorously, but it was probably the first of my mistakes.

    He began increasing his circumference and approached many of my current and previous friends. He said to them to insult me that everyone has left him; no one likes to talk with him; all his friends hate him etcetera. I still snubbed and it was my 2nd mistake. 

   Now he slandered me that I did not have any knowledge of anything. I thought that he had got delusion of superiority and perhaps he would pay for it. I again ignored it.

   In every meeting with my previously known person, he insulted me that I made a call but he did not want to talk with me. Was it fair? If he did not want to talk, he should have denied directly, but he did not, and in my absence, he always pronounced these words repeatedly. All, who presented there, laughed and enjoyed on my insult. 

    Every micro event, everyone erased, but he kept in mind and uttered it to disparage me. One day he came to my room and voiced such defamatory words for only ₹500 (For kind information: I had informed him 2-3 times to return, but he did not come.) that anyone would clout him but I did nothing but considered.

    It was my final mistake with him. I never countered and gave reactions to his deeds. If I want I could have thrashed him mercilessly, but my mind always pictured his parents who invited me for dinner one night on his behalf. 

    Many days I thought that I should have asked why you did so. My blood boiled frequently to take revenge violently but I always stopped myself because I spent much time with him in laughing, humouring, enjoying, taking cups of tea, and wandering that discontinued my violent feeling and felt me calm.

    Sometimes, giving reaction is the need of the hour. He always said that everyone left me, and felt pride. I ignored on many occasions but acted in response at once: People are left; marriages are broken; parents are gone away, divorce happens, widow remarriages and many leave even after 6 years because time, thinking, need, and preference is changed and friendship consists of no meaning for people like P. 

    It happens, always happens, and happens every time. Today is me, and tomorrow will be other, but it will happen. No one should be mocked on this ground. It was I who respected you but it will not be always for you P.