My Diary: 2022 ends with professional learnings

       The year 2022 is about to end that lessoned me professionally as well as personally. 

       It had so much complexity in its grave. I felt numerous unexpected encounters in the journey of 2022. Whether it had complexity and unexpected-ness, it couraged me to stand.

At a restaurant in December 2022 after resigning my previous employer.

        The professional journey started with the covid-affected months of 2020. Lockdown was just over. I was called for an interview at a company and after some complications, I was hired there. I uninterestingly joined a department where I experienced unprofessional behaviour even in the beginning and It went long with me, approximately 2 years. There, I attempted to work for an another department (what I felt then) but I failed to be entertained.

         I still think that it was a curse and nightmare for me to work in that department. Then, my frustration level had increased. I was depressed in terms of doing what I wished never. My confidence was touching the toe. Appraisal was done seeing the faces of professionals. Performance held no meaning. If you were a master of a little buttering tactics, you will get benefitted. And, if you had joined with an approach, you’ll face no harassment from the management. 

         The 2020 had almost broke me. And, it was repeated in 2021 but the year gave me confidence to stand even after getting Rs 16,000 per month for one year for a rigorous work of 8 hours. With an effort of the boss, I got Rs 20,000 per month for the next year for the same work. The old lion was good-hearted but he was double standard. I learnt some lessons from him but I never wanted to learn his habits of unnecessary shouting, to-be-good on only face and providing benefit to those who keep buttering without doing excellent work. 

        In the end of 2022, circumstances had changed and I had suddenly resigned the job. I can’t explain my mental condition wherein I was going through. I was spending my crucial 8 hours without any personal benefits. I had lost my track. Anyway…nightmare was forgettable.

        I managed myself to track me. I feel glad that I passed my time there with ‘no fear.’ Whenever I needed to raise my hand, I raised my hand without hesitation. I was lucky this year that gave me moral power to converse with management gazing in their eyes and live with my attitude. It is said that showing the attitude and living the attitude, both are different thing.

          Now, it has become truth of my life that I have left my previous employer. And, that employer accused me of writing social media posts against the company. In response, the company denied me to provide my relieving letter. That has become a past moment. 

       Life is the name of motion. I learnt two lessons professionally in the last month of 2022. First, Don’t make any decision without proper planning. And, secondly, if you want to kill a snake, you need to prepare yourself with a perfect batton. But, I was unsuccessful at both points. I had no planning before quitting the company and I had no perfect batton. 

Unalome tatoo: that teaches me that after facing complexity of life you’ll be enlightened (lotus). 

        No doubt, there was unprofessional conduct and toxic work culture, I raised these concern. But, the company tried to prove me wrong in spite of looking into the gravity of the rotten situation in the department. There were many people who were worst in nature. Many of them celebrated my quitting with a party when I was coming out the place. It was an act similar to beating drum on the death of a person.

       In December, 2022, I was penny less. I can’t explain how I managed my days without money. These days, a few out of many spread their hands to support me after asking many times for a little assist. 

         Actually, it was necessary to me. I was taught the importance of money. And, I took the line of Yuval Noah Harari into consideration: Money is the only trust system created by humans!

       I have no hesitation to confess that it was fact that I have chosen media professionalism with a hope after continuous failure in the civil services examination. I don’t know that why I went through this situation? I still want to find answer that actually it was fault of my first job at such company where working culture was full of toxicity or it was fault of under-graded or inferior employees who were in fear of insecurity and they kept slandering to make their number in the eyes of the head?

         The year will end in some days with a ray of new hope for me at an another place. Let leave the past! Live the present! Celebrate Christmas and New Year with the ashes of past! 

        R. Suresh Bhardwaj! Be happy with lessons of your first professional journey and concentrate your primary goal what you want! Don’t forget what you are doing is secondary!